Hey Single Sista Sister

So I am an engineer. It’s safe to say that I’m a major nerd who loves random weird facts hence me wasting my time to calculate these statistics. I hope you get as much a kick out of these facts as I do and I promise there’s a point to the madness.

75% of my sorority sisters who were in Phi Lamb from my three years I spent in it, are seriously dating with the intent of engagement, engaged, married and or have kids. With that 94% of our brother Christian frat members and 65% of my graduating high school class are in the same bracket. That means roughly 78% of my peer group, most being under the age of 25, are seriously dating, engaged, have kids and/or are married.

And while marriage is a beautiful calling to model the example of Christ’s love for the church, that is not the group I am most interested in today. The group I am most interested in is the singles. What are they up to? Some are in school pursuing advanced degrees, others are teaching abroad, or pursuing missions work (hey yo ??). They are living incredible fulfilling lives for the kingdom of God and if you ask them most would reply that they are completely and wholeheartedly satisfied in their singleness. I myself am lucky to be satisfied in my singleness; and I quite enjoy the stage of life I am currently in.  It’s a pretty rad place to be.

But lately my heart and mind has been turned towards the ones who don’t have it that easy. The ones that feel forgotten and or left behind. I want to take a moment to encourage my fellow singles; specifically the ones that are struggling in their season of singleness. The ones struggling with holding on to the hope that they will find their someone special one day. I just wanted to share some truths that help me thrive in and enjoy my period of singleness.

Life isn’t put on pause while you wait for your spouse

I can’t help but think of the many bachelors and bachelorettes in the bible, who we consider heroes of the faith, and all the great things they have done with their singleness. Paul wrote roughly 13-14 books in the bible and led an incredible ministry for years. John the Baptist had an incredible ministry as well. Don’t forget the single disciples and the legacy they left, many as martyrs. Mary Magdalene, was a lady boss who followed Jesus everywhere and is said to have bravely stood close to him while he was crucified on the cross. What about Rahab the prostitute who was basically a double agent and spy? She helped the Israelites escape and eventually bring down the walls of Jericho. She also went on to be a part of Jesus’s lineage (Joseph; adoptive father of Jesus was her direct descendent). How awesome is that?

Think of singleness as your time to chase after God un-hindered and without distraction. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 Paul talks about how a single person is allowed the space to have an undivided devotion to the Lord. Use that time to exercise your faith, say yes to that scary thing God has been asking you to do. It’s easier to take risks when they are only affecting one person. You. What is something that you know God has been asking you to do but you have been too afraid to do?

You will find your satisfaction only in knowing and loving Jesus

In Ecclesiastes the author talks about how he pursued every avenue to find satisfaction and contentment. Whether that be wealth, partying, knowledge, etc.. but for each one he stated: everything is meaningless and sums up the book with one conclusion in chapter 12 verse 13 fear God and keep his commandments. This is the only thing he declares meaningful and the only thing Solomon finds contentment in. Philippians 4:11-13 says that the secret to being content in any circumstance is the ability to find strength in God. Lean into him throughout your period of singleness. 1 Peter 5:7 says to cast all your worries on him because he cares for you. God doesn’t enjoy watching you struggle with loneliness. God desperately wants you to talk to him about your struggles and worries. He wants to have a relationship with you and relationship starts with allowing others to see your vulnerability. Matthew 11:28-30 says come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.

Use your singleness to try new hobbies, travel, and work on yourself

What is something you wish you were better at? Listening? Empathizing? Whistling? Whatever that might be; if its something that brings life then use your singleness to cultivate it. Also take the time to cultivate the gifts and expertise God gave you. Take a dance class to become a better dancer, go out once a week to sing karaoke and fine tune your voice, train for a marathon, or even mentor a younger person. There are so many fun activities you can take on. Have a blast and enjoy your time as a single.

Singleness does not have to be a lonely death sentence but instead an opportunity for greatness

So my fellow friends who are feeling alone and left out of the beautiful promise of marriage, I want you to know I am here for you and I see your pain. I am praying for you.  It’s tough! But please know your father in heaven sees that very real pain and his heart hurts to see you in pain. He wants you to allow him to comfort you and walk with you through it.

Thanks for reading!

Please share below, how you have made the most of your single years and/or some encouragement for your fellow single sisters and brothers.

With all my love,

 

Jojo